As I sit here in silence alone, I watch the sun slip slowly behind my glorious view of the mountains. Another day almost over. Where has it gone? I remember as a child how time seemed to drag on and how badly I wanted to “grow up”. Funny how that is – I didn’t realize just how much I’d want time to slow down as the years passed.

As I reflect on this journey, called life, I think about how much I’ve grown. Who I am today would be unrecognizable to the woman I was in my 20’s or even 30’s. Life has shaped me, as it does us all, in so many profound ways. The most pivotal moments, the ones that created the greatest transformation, were actually the ones that were most painful. 

I’m not exactly sure what motivated me to seek out a better way versus spiraling into a dark abyss.  Something deep within me, a quiet whisper uttered, “There’s gotta be more to life than this.” That voice was right on track. As I started to shift my perspective of the world, the world around me changed. I started to feel more peaceful, joyful, empowered, and inspired. This was a direct contrast to the anxiety, fear, and panic I’d been trapped within for so many years. 

This transformation didn’t happen overnight. It was and is a process, the proverbial onion, peeling it back layer by layer. What I witness isn’t always flattering. In fact, sometimes it is downright messy. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. How do I do it – trial and error, daily meditation and Qigong, sheer will, mental and emotional training, support of friends and mentors, a trust in the Divine, and showing up again and again. I have a deep gratitude and appreciation for all the people in my life, past and present. The people who challenged or hurt me the most, were often my greatest teachers. 

Now when life hands me a curve ball, after the initial blow, I pause, take a breath, and ask “What can I learn from this & what do I know to be true?” The answer doesn’t always occur to me immediately, but I’m learning to listen to that inner whisper more and more, and in order to hear her I must be still and quiet. Within this silence is a gift. The gift of consciousness, life force, divinity. The gift of freedom.

I’ll end with this quote: “A memory without an emotional charge is called wisdom.” 

– Dr. Joe Dispenza

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